By Theron Moore
In my never ending quest to find and expose the most extreme of the extreme music out there I discovered St. Louis’ very own Without MF Order after watching several of their live vids on youtube. It prompted to me to look up the definition of “ass kicking” in the urban dictionary online and here’s what it said:
“To be beaten senseless because you God damn definitely deserve it.”
I don’t know these guys personally so I’m not sure if that holds true or not but takin’ a good old fashioned ass whoopin’ does play a role in their live shows.
I’ve always had a fascination with the likes of Anal Cunt, G.G. Allin and The Mentors so Without MF Order was right in my wheelhouse. I like bands that play live and dominate from both a stage show perspective as well as musically and Without MF Order fits this bill perfectly.
A typical live gig goes something like this: Play an intense brand of hardcore and invite audience members to beat holy hell out of the singer, which they do with much vigor. And to the credit of lead vocalist Captain Perverto, he takes a beating and never misses a note.
Church of the Necronomicon (COTN): Tell me the origin of this band because as I understand it, you’re either a former or current indy pro wrestler.
Captain Perverto: I wrestled for a small independent fed called “Gateway Championship Wrestling” from 1999 until 2005. I quit not too long after joining the band. Wrestling had rules and the band didn’t, so it was a no brainer to me which one I wanted to stick with.
I quit mainly because they stopped letting me do hardcore matches for being too careless (not with other workers, but with myself.) One time I ended up with a gash on the side of my head that was about as wide as Miley Cyrus’ vagina, so I guess I can’t argue with their concerns.
COTN: How did you all come together?
Captain Perverto: Legend has it that Chuck Berry, Tony Iommi and Johnny Ramone all touched dicks simultaneously creating a thunderous electromagnetic splooge storm, Scumby emerged from the gunk and that’s how he was born.was born.
Captain Perverto was the survivor of a coat hanger abortion. He was thrown in a Taco Bell dumpster where he lived off of taco beef and refried beans for about a week until a homeless lady scavenging for food found him and raised her as her own. Eating that kind of food as an infant likely explains why he takes such massive shits.
How Crash was born is unknown, we don’t know how old he is, but historians guess that it was some time in the early 1800’s. In 1922, Crash ran over a Gypsy woman’s foot in his Ford Model T. She then put a curse on him that any bass player that he plays with will die a horrible death. So that’s why we never have a bass player, they all died because Crash is a shitty driver. We all met at Denny’s.
COTN: Your shows are violent, fans are encouraged to attack and beat up the band, especially the lead singer. Have things ever gotten so out of hand that people got seriously injured or the show had to be stopped?
Captain Perverto: Aside from Filthy Jill constantly breaking her hand on my head, no one in the crowd has ever gotten hurt, which is good. I don’t like seeing other people get hurt. Might seem a little ironic, but I like to compare it with blowjobs.
I like getting blowjobs, but I highly doubt I would like giving one. Taking a beating is like getting a blowjob, minus the part where I have to beg for it for weeks or try to sneak it in while she’s sleeping.
We’ve never stopped a show ourselves. One time I missed the last song because blood was squirting out of my ear and decided to go to a hospital, but I had no idea we were going to do an encore, otherwise I would have stuck around. The hospital visit was kind of pointless.
I found out I wasn’t actually bleeding out of my ear hole, it was just a laceration. Any time I go to a hospital I just make sure I don’t have a chance of dying later, then leave. The only time a show has ever been stopped was because I whipped my ballsack out.
COTN: Who’s idea was it to introduce the level of violence and gore into your live act?
Captain Perverto: Mine
COTN: Are local promoters and venues leery of booking a Without MF Order show because of your reputation?
Captain Perverto: Some of them are hesitant or flat out refuse to book us. It’s usually more of a liability issue. We assure them that we don’t break equipment and always clean up our own messes. Some are still afraid that I might get hurt and try to sue them or some other dumb shit. I understand the paranoia, but I would never sue anyone for any reason.
COTN: Any problems with the cops due to your live show?
Captain Perverto: Unfortunately no, a perfect ending to a show would be us being dragged out in cuffs.
COTN: You remind me a lot of G.G. Allin. Tell me about that and who else musically kind of helped to form what we know as WMFO.
Captain Perverto: I don’t mind being compared to GG musically, because there’s no denying that he’s an inspiration, though I’m not too thrilled about people comparing him to our stage performance. A lot of the stuff I do on stage is heavily inspired by my wrestling days and the fact that I’ve been a masochist all my life. If GG inspired anything performance wise, it was showing me that I can implement my antics into our music, I assume it’s a hell of a lot more fun to watch than looking at some guy stand there with his foot on the monitor.
Lyrics to “He’s Got Aids” by Without MF Order: